我要去某個水嚐起來像酒的地方:Henry Miller《The Colossus of Maroussi》

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我要去某個水嚐起來像酒的地方:Henry Miller《The Colossus of Maroussi》

不久,後方的地平線慢慢地出現白色光線,夜消失了,後照鏡裡也開始出現光亮。播放錄音帶,拿出打火機點菸,煙霧飄散,車內終於回復生氣,而每個人也從無聊中獲得解放。國道上的清晨,無限清澄透明,再過幾小時之後,路上又會開始像戰場一樣,喧囂不已。今天該出發到哪裡?不,應該是說今天一整天我到底會遇到甚麼樣的風景呢?

──森山大道,〈在路上〉

原初想找的是 Henry Miller 的 Remember to Remember,後來卻只找到他的隨筆遊記 The Colossus of Maroussi。那時是1939年,二戰初期,歐洲各國積極備戰,四十七歲的 Henry Miller 離開居住近十年的巴黎,應詩人友人 Lawrence Durrell 之邀前往希臘 Corfu,開展長達九個月的希臘旅程,The Colossus of Maroussi 在1941年出版,記述了這趟旅程的點滴。當戰火開始在歐洲蔓延,他在古老的希臘漫遊,在船上與剛相逢且談得投契的伙伴喝酒談笑,遇上語言不通的島民,則胡亂唱歌,瘋狂跳舞,向對方任意吹噓,大笑而散。

同樣擅寫旅行文學的作家兼書評家 Pico Iyer 將Miller是次旅程描述為「狂喜的漫遊」(ecstatic ramble),整本書是「難以用簡單話語描述,一次對線性敘述的正面攻擊」(such a head-on assault on the linear that it can be hard to describe in simple terms)。所有他在旅途中遇上的人景物事,一一跟隨沿途遇見的希臘天色,與船隻飄浮,忽高忽低,那些看似被他隨意剪裁的風景,往往散而不碎。這種聚焦於抽取片段、對話與畫面晃動感、光感的遊記,滿足於僅僅描述事件與發展的大概印象,以當下的情感、觸動、氛圍與反思為梗概,除了表達作者那股重新發現古樸希臘的驚喜外,在節奏與情感的流動背後,真正挪動著的,也許是他在面對戰爭的齷齪與人類的貪婪和缺乏時,對世界走向殘暴的不滿:

We…… make no mention of the new diseases which we have created en route. The medical cult operates very much like the War Office – the triumphs which they broadcast are thrown out to conceal death and disaster. The medicos, like the military authorities, are helpless; they are waging a hopeless fight from the start. What man wants is peace in order that he may live…… Our disease are our attachments, be they habits, ideologies, ideals, principles, possessions, phobias, gods, cults, religions, what you   please.

在希臘土地與海洋的薰陶底下,對靈性的追求,自我身份的確立,以及對和平不息的渴望:

The light of Greece opened my eyes, penetrated my pores, expanded my whole being. I came home to the world, having found the true centre and the real meaning of revolution. [….] No warring conflicts between the nations of the earth can disturb this equilibrium. Greece herself may become embroiled, as we ourselves are now becoming embroiled, but I refuse categorically to become anything less than the citizen of the world which I silently declared myself to be when I stood in Agamemnon’s tomb. From that day forth my life was dedicated to the recovery of the divinity of man.

「我要去某個從來未曾去過的地方/我要去某個水嚐起來像酒的地方」這是 Canned Heat 的歌。Henry Miller 在書中說:Man is made for walk the earth and sail the sea,單純的步行,單純的向海張望,是人類來自本性的嚮往與欲望。

我想我大概不會找到 Remember to Remember,但會一直地,因為那本尋覓不見的 Remember to Remember,而遇上別的書。在二手書店蹓躂久了,便發現,也許不論是書藉、歌曲或電影,也和步行與航海一樣,我們總會慢慢偏離那原初的一點甚麼,也唯有遠離那原初的一點甚麼,才能發展出那些真正讓人驚艷的,萬變的虛線。原點終究會挪移,引伸出別的意義,激活另一個原點,這是閱讀永遠無窮無盡的原因。

李嘉儀

李嘉儀

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